Living with Migraines

I’ve got to do some work this weekend, but since it’s raining (yea!) it will be a good weekend to wear comfy clothes, make some tea or cocoa and curl up with my computer to write some reports.  (OK, so the last part isn’t really an ideal way to spend a rainy Saturday, but I’ve got to do it.)  I want to hang out and do some reading with DD today too.  We both have new books.  I got Eat, Pray, Love at the suggestion of a good friend and have just started it.  So far I’m liking it.

Wednesday and Thursday saw me feeling pretty so-so, but yesterday was a good day and I feel pretty decent this morning.  I slept in about an extra hour or so.  I had one of those moments where I woke up about 15 minutes after my usual time, realized that my alarm hadn’t gone off and had to figure out what day it was and whether or not I should be scrambling out of bed!  So glad it is Saturday.

It’s Saturday morning, and the whole weekend is stretched out before me.  Actually it started last night because I had my ballet class.  I like doing something fun on Fridays - makes a nice break between work and the weekend.  DH and I are going to start painting the exterior of the house today.  What fun.  But, it needs to be done.

I’ve been feeling pretty good this week, knock on wood.  I could have slept in more this morning, but my dad was here and needed to get going early so I got up to say goodbye.  It’s probably just as well, with the whole try to get regular sleep advice.  But it feels so good to be warm and snuggly under all the covers!

Have a good weekend, everyone.

One of my goals this year is to be more consistent in keeping in touch with friends, and going beyond email to do so.  As I was thinking about this goal yesterday, I started down the path of thinking about all the friends I’ve lost over the years, for various reasons.  I thought about friendships that sort of fizzled out in a natural way, friendships that maybe never ought to have been in the first place and dissolved painfully but necessarily, and then the others: friendships that either are no longer in place but I wish were, or friendships that I let go because I didn’t do enough to hold on to them.

All in all, it was painful to think about.  It hurts to know there are people out there I once considered friends who no longer care for me, that feeling that I am no longer good enough in their eyes.   It hurts knowing that I have not valued people in outward ways and let them know how much I care for them.  I carry around hurt, and guilt, and regret, and sometimes I wonder if being able to let go of all that once and for all would add a lightness to my heart and my being.

So I go on, today, moving forward and trying to do better by my friends and act in more intentional ways, trying to learn from my mistakes.

And in migraine news, I feel rotten this morning and am hoping it will pass.

How much sleep do I really need to get in order to not feel tired the next day?  I’m so tired of feeling tired.  Sometimes I wonder if getting more iron in my diet, or taking an iron supplement, would help.  Maybe I need to try it and see how I feel.  I think I need to try cooking with my cast iron a little more often too.  When I feel like this my urge is to grab some sugar or caffeine, and I don’t want to go down that path in the lae afternoon.
I’ve started keeping a written journal again, something I haven’t done in years.  I’m not really writing paragraphs in it but instead am capturing random thoughts, ideas and such in list form.   I  might write a heading of “happy memories” and write what comes to mind, or “goals” or whatever.  Part of it is an effort to cultivate more gratitude in my life.  Part of it is trying to dump some thoughts before bed so that maybe I’ll sleep better.  And part of it is the need to give myself time right before bed to remember what’s important.  I’m not writing daily.  In fact, I’ve only written twice this month.  But that’s OK.

Ah, it’s Friday! And that means I have ballet tonight, after three weeks of no class. I suspect I will be sore tomorrow and rather lacking in the flexibility department this evening. But it will be good to go back - I’ve missed it. 90 minutes of focusing on the here and now, doing something I enjoy, and putting everything else out of my mind. I only wish I could go more often. That is one of my goals this year, however - to add a second weekly class.

My period started this week, so perhaps that helps explain the migraine on Monday. I’m contemplating trying acupuncture again. If it helped keep things under control in the fall, then it’s worth going back. Now, I don’t know for a fact that it did anything at all, but to go as long as I did without any major episodes was rather unheard of. My insurance covers some of the price. I need to see if I can go x times a year or x times, period. It’s one or the other, but I’m not sure which.

I may look into going back to the migraine clinic again. I stopped going when they closed, but then they reopened (accepting insurance this time!) and I never went back. Now that I work in the same town that it’s in, it becomes a lot more convenient to go every three to six months for check-ins and blood work (when needed). I’ve been putting off a lot of medical appointments and need to start scheduling them and getting them over and done with.

I’m not feeling too great today, and I’m not sure why. I was also really tired this morning and had a hard time getting up and getting going. But that may just be Friday/back to work stuff. I’ve been staying up later than is good for me, reading a new book. I’m almost done with it, and then I have the sequel.

Happy Friday, everyone.

I woke up and the migraine had finally broken.  I was left with the aftermath, hungover type feeling, and I haven’t slept well in weeks, but at least the headache was GONE.

Today was back to my more regular, healthy eating: cereal and coffee for breakfast, protein bar for mid-morning snack, crackers and cheese, carrots and Greek yogurt for lunch.  Water all day.  The only real lapse has been the See’s candy bordeaux (spelling?) and one Hershey’s kiss that I just ate, but two candies aren’t going to be the end of me.  It feels good to get back to the basics and stop poisoning my body with so much fat and sugar.

DD and I went to the beach after school today.  We brought our lunches and sat on the sand to eat, then went for a walk with the metal detector she got for Christmas, looking for treasures.  Found lots of bottle caps and some strange rusty metal object,  but nothing interesting to bring home.   It was nice being at the beach, watching the waves and enjoying some sun.  I think there’s a slight chance of rain tomorrow afternoon, so it’s good that we went today.  We also ran our other errands, exchanging a pair of socks that was too small and paying a visit to the bread outlet for bread (duh) and other goodies.  Our bread outlet carries Bob’s Red Mill products, which I love.  I got some rolled oats, ground flaxseed and seven grain cereal, and I am thinking they will make for interesting ingredients in muffins and pancakes, and maybe even some bread if DD and I decide to try our hand at some.

It is so good to feel good.  More than anything, I hate missing out on my life when I’m stuck in bed feeling so miserable.

It’s Friday - where did my vacation go?!?! I swear I feel like it zipped by in the blink of an eye, and it feels incredibly unfair. I have a few more days, counting New Year’s Day of course, but still I’m already feeling like I’m in mourning for another vacation having gone by. I had to do some work today. I can’t decide if I procrastinated by waiting until the day the reports were due (today) or consciously avoiding it out of principle and respect for my supposed vacation. It’s probably a little of both. In any event, I got the work done, and it took only about an hour, as predicted.

What’s bumming me out the most right now is that for two weeks of vacation, I still feel really tired and somewhat grumpy. Aren’t I supposed to be feeling refreshed and rejuvenated now? Aren’t I supposed to be sleeping in and just hanging out, enjoying the natural rhythms of life? It doesn’t seem to be happening that way. Maybe my expectations are out of whack. Maybe I shouldn’t be having any expectations at all.

My hands and feet have been freezing cold lately. I can’t seem to get them warmed up. I’m wearing socks and slippers and sitting on ym feet right now, all to no avail. I think it’s a lost cause.

In headache news I felt kind of crappy last night but seem to be OK today. I really, really need to eat better and get off the sugar addiction I’m currently on. It isn’t helping anything.

It’s Christmas Eve and I wanted to log in and wish everyone a Merry Christmas.  We’ve got family things going on today and tomorrow, and I’m looking forward to a somewhat restful week next week on vacation.

Happy Holidays!