Living with Migraines

Of the triggers out there for me, stress is one that seems like it ought to be within my control.  That is, I ought to be able to learn to manage my stress better so that it doesn’t get to the point of triggering a migraine through tension.  In fact, writing this entry is my way of trying to let go of some of the tension I’m carrying this week.

Last week, I was a major stress case and wound up taking medication Thursday morning, and again Friday morning.  I got relief both times, but having stress-induced migraines feels like my life is out of balance, out of whack, out of control.  And that doesn’t feel good (literally!).

So how do I learn to manage the tension I’m currently carrying around?  How do I give myself permission to be more gentle with myself, to forgive my own shortcomings and learn from mistakes rather than beating myself up and giving myself the ultimate in guilt-trips?  How do I let things go that are not in my control?  How do I accept that people won’t always be happy with me, but that if I feel like I’m living my life with integrity and up to my own values and standards then there’s no more I can do?

If you’ve read this, thank you.  I guess knowing others are listening in some way is actually helpful.

Balance - balance of activities, balance of emotions, balance of time.  This is always the struggle.   Oh to have a crystal ball and know when something is actually worth the worry and when I could just as easily laugh it off, knowing in the big picture it’s next to meaningless.

I had a massage today, but frankly I don’tknow if it did any good.  Either that, or I was so knotted up that it would take two or three more sessions to finally break everything loose.  :(  My head hurts, my neck hurts, my back s hurts…even my feet hurt (although that’s probably the ballet and unrelated to everything else).

I have the urge to simplify everything.  Get rid of ALL the excess in the house, and in turn hope to get rid of all the excess in my head.

Feeling kind of defeated and dejected today.  But it will pass, as these things always do.  And right now I need to go pick up DD from a friend’s house anyway, so no more time for this little pity-party.  Tomorrow will be a better day.

The weather has been weird lately - hot one day, cooler the next, foggy the day after that.  Add to that the fact that where I work is often 20+ degrees hotter and my poor body can’t seem to adapt.  I don’t know if any of that led to the migraine that came on last night, but it seems likely.  I tried going to bed but it got steadily worse, so I got up around 10 p.m. to take a frova.  I felt better this morning, but I was afraid to move when I first woke up.  Often, when I wake up, I feel fine.  Or, more specifically, I don’t feel anything.  But within a couple of minutes, and after I start to move, if the headache is still there it comes roaring back.  So I try to make those blissful seconds and minutes of feeling nothing stretch out for as long as possible.  I’m basically feeling alright today.

It was exactly two weeks ago that I went to bed feeling off and woke up with a migraine. Same thing happened last night and this morning, although I didn’t feel nearly as bad this morning and one Frova plus three ibuprofens has basically kept things tolerable. Every two weeks seems to be a pattern, which is why I know these are hormonal beyond all else.

We’re heading out to some friends’ house tonight for dessert, so I best get off the computer to get changed and get something together for dinner before it’s time for us to leave!