Living with Migraines

One of my goals this year is to be more consistent in keeping in touch with friends, and going beyond email to do so.  As I was thinking about this goal yesterday, I started down the path of thinking about all the friends I’ve lost over the years, for various reasons.  I thought about friendships that sort of fizzled out in a natural way, friendships that maybe never ought to have been in the first place and dissolved painfully but necessarily, and then the others: friendships that either are no longer in place but I wish were, or friendships that I let go because I didn’t do enough to hold on to them.

All in all, it was painful to think about.  It hurts to know there are people out there I once considered friends who no longer care for me, that feeling that I am no longer good enough in their eyes.   It hurts knowing that I have not valued people in outward ways and let them know how much I care for them.  I carry around hurt, and guilt, and regret, and sometimes I wonder if being able to let go of all that once and for all would add a lightness to my heart and my being.

So I go on, today, moving forward and trying to do better by my friends and act in more intentional ways, trying to learn from my mistakes.

And in migraine news, I feel rotten this morning and am hoping it will pass.

How much sleep do I really need to get in order to not feel tired the next day?  I’m so tired of feeling tired.  Sometimes I wonder if getting more iron in my diet, or taking an iron supplement, would help.  Maybe I need to try it and see how I feel.  I think I need to try cooking with my cast iron a little more often too.  When I feel like this my urge is to grab some sugar or caffeine, and I don’t want to go down that path in the lae afternoon.
I’ve started keeping a written journal again, something I haven’t done in years.  I’m not really writing paragraphs in it but instead am capturing random thoughts, ideas and such in list form.   I  might write a heading of “happy memories” and write what comes to mind, or “goals” or whatever.  Part of it is an effort to cultivate more gratitude in my life.  Part of it is trying to dump some thoughts before bed so that maybe I’ll sleep better.  And part of it is the need to give myself time right before bed to remember what’s important.  I’m not writing daily.  In fact, I’ve only written twice this month.  But that’s OK.

So, women with migraine are more likely to be depressed, according to one new study.

Women with chronic headache, especially migraines, are more likely to be depressed, feel tired, and have a host of other severe physical symptoms, according to a study published in the January 9, 2007, issue of Neurology, the scientific journal of the American Academy of Neurology.

I’ve read before that migraine and depression an both be linked to serotonin levels, so a study like this doesn’t surprise me.  Bulimia can be linked to serotonin as well, and I’ve dealt with all three, surprise surprise.

My daughter’s teacher suffers from migraines, too. Last Thursday she had to leave school early and wasn’t back on Friday. She’s back to day and feeling much better, but she said it took a few days to get back to normal. I can relate. It’s hard juggling the demands of life - family, career - when you’re also dealing with a migraine. And when you’re completely sidelined and can’t even function, then what? You rely on everyone around you to help pick up the slack and carry on in your place. It’s hard, feeling that need to reply on other people, to have to let them take care of things for you without feeling like you can really “make it up” to them. Accepting help is a must, but it isn’t always easy to do, and there are often strong feelings of guilt that come with it.

I continue to be amazed that I haven’t missed a day of work yet due to migraine. *knocks on wood*

Looks like there’s another migraine medication in the works -

MONTGOMERY, Ala., Jan. 8 (UPI) — U.S. firm ProEthic Pharmaceuticals said Monday it has promising findings from a phase 3 study of its fast-acting migraine therapy.

The company said the eight-month, 690-patient study of its drug candidate PRO-513 met all of its endpoints by proving superior to placebo in pain relief and associated symptoms of nausea, sensitivity to light or sensitivity to sound at two hours.

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Ah, it’s Friday! And that means I have ballet tonight, after three weeks of no class. I suspect I will be sore tomorrow and rather lacking in the flexibility department this evening. But it will be good to go back - I’ve missed it. 90 minutes of focusing on the here and now, doing something I enjoy, and putting everything else out of my mind. I only wish I could go more often. That is one of my goals this year, however - to add a second weekly class.

My period started this week, so perhaps that helps explain the migraine on Monday. I’m contemplating trying acupuncture again. If it helped keep things under control in the fall, then it’s worth going back. Now, I don’t know for a fact that it did anything at all, but to go as long as I did without any major episodes was rather unheard of. My insurance covers some of the price. I need to see if I can go x times a year or x times, period. It’s one or the other, but I’m not sure which.

I may look into going back to the migraine clinic again. I stopped going when they closed, but then they reopened (accepting insurance this time!) and I never went back. Now that I work in the same town that it’s in, it becomes a lot more convenient to go every three to six months for check-ins and blood work (when needed). I’ve been putting off a lot of medical appointments and need to start scheduling them and getting them over and done with.

I’m not feeling too great today, and I’m not sure why. I was also really tired this morning and had a hard time getting up and getting going. But that may just be Friday/back to work stuff. I’ve been staying up later than is good for me, reading a new book. I’m almost done with it, and then I have the sequel.

Happy Friday, everyone.

I woke up and the migraine had finally broken.  I was left with the aftermath, hungover type feeling, and I haven’t slept well in weeks, but at least the headache was GONE.

Today was back to my more regular, healthy eating: cereal and coffee for breakfast, protein bar for mid-morning snack, crackers and cheese, carrots and Greek yogurt for lunch.  Water all day.  The only real lapse has been the See’s candy bordeaux (spelling?) and one Hershey’s kiss that I just ate, but two candies aren’t going to be the end of me.  It feels good to get back to the basics and stop poisoning my body with so much fat and sugar.

DD and I went to the beach after school today.  We brought our lunches and sat on the sand to eat, then went for a walk with the metal detector she got for Christmas, looking for treasures.  Found lots of bottle caps and some strange rusty metal object,  but nothing interesting to bring home.   It was nice being at the beach, watching the waves and enjoying some sun.  I think there’s a slight chance of rain tomorrow afternoon, so it’s good that we went today.  We also ran our other errands, exchanging a pair of socks that was too small and paying a visit to the bread outlet for bread (duh) and other goodies.  Our bread outlet carries Bob’s Red Mill products, which I love.  I got some rolled oats, ground flaxseed and seven grain cereal, and I am thinking they will make for interesting ingredients in muffins and pancakes, and maybe even some bread if DD and I decide to try our hand at some.

It is so good to feel good.  More than anything, I hate missing out on my life when I’m stuck in bed feeling so miserable.

Either the emotions and stresses of the season finally got to me, or all the junk food caught up, or I’m due to start my period - or maybe it’s all of the above - but I’ve been sidelined again.  It started yesterday early afternoon.  What a great way to start the new year.   I was feeling somewhat better last night and thought I’d be alright this morning, but I woke up feeling worse.  It’s just barely tolerable now, though I haven’t even showered or dressed today and have barely moved from the couch.

Today was supposed to be a special day just for me and DD, before school starts back up tomorrow.  We had plans!!  I hate when this happens.   I may take her to the beach after school, something we were supposed to do today.  She also has something to exchange from Christmas that doesn’t fit, so maybe we can go by the mall tomorrow afternoon, too.

I had plans to cook something nice for dinner, and now I can barely stomach the thought of food at all.

And back to work tomorrow.  What a crappy way to spend the last day of vacation.