Connecting with Friends
One of my goals this year is to be more consistent in keeping in touch with friends, and going beyond email to do so. As I was thinking about this goal yesterday, I started down the path of thinking about all the friends I’ve lost over the years, for various reasons. I thought about friendships that sort of fizzled out in a natural way, friendships that maybe never ought to have been in the first place and dissolved painfully but necessarily, and then the others: friendships that either are no longer in place but I wish were, or friendships that I let go because I didn’t do enough to hold on to them.
All in all, it was painful to think about. It hurts to know there are people out there I once considered friends who no longer care for me, that feeling that I am no longer good enough in their eyes. It hurts knowing that I have not valued people in outward ways and let them know how much I care for them. I carry around hurt, and guilt, and regret, and sometimes I wonder if being able to let go of all that once and for all would add a lightness to my heart and my being.
So I go on, today, moving forward and trying to do better by my friends and act in more intentional ways, trying to learn from my mistakes.
And in migraine news, I feel rotten this morning and am hoping it will pass.