Notes From Under the House

Ever have one of those days when you shouldn’t have gotten out of bed? Today was my day. I was totally discombobulated today. First I attempted to leave the house three times; the first time I had to go back in the house because I forgot my veggies and my thermos. I had set them out on the kitchen counter in plain view so I would see them and still I walked out without them. The second time I had to go back in the house because I noticed I had on my “fuzzy” tights that I normally wear under my pants, that are supposed to be black but they have a grey cast to them, instead of my opaque tights I wear with skirts. So I had to go back in and change. Then I had to go back for my iPod (because I’m sick and tired of the music on my hard drive) and book (even though I didn’t get to read at all today). And every time I leave the house I have to go through my ritual of checking the stove and all the doors because I’m a paranoid person (my friend always makes the sign of the cross when he locks his front door). By the time I finally got behind the wheel, I was sweating and pissed off because if I leave too late, I get stuck in traffic. So I got stuck in traffic. Then I get to work and I can’t find my reading glasses. Even though I had my contacts in, I still have to use reading glasses. So I had to sit up close to the computer and I had to be extra careful I didn’t send any e-mails to the wrong person; too many clients with the first name of Frank. And speaking of clients, I left my accordion folder with my client’s info in it at home. I’m surprised I had my #%#@@*^&& thumb drive. Then someone asked me what that mark was across my face. Evidently the way I slept left a crease across my right cheek. So it looked like someone slugged me. Then when I came home from the grocery store tonight, I discovered the bag boy didn’t put my two cups of yogurt and my bagels in the bag.  

The nice thing is I ate a good dinner I didn’t have to cook and the kitchen is clean and I didn’t have to clean it. 

But I still can’t find my reading glasses.